Hi! How are you? Who cares…

I read an amusing article (I know I am always reading) about what I did not know was a thing: Success Bombing. When I saw the title, I was intrigued.

So, I learned something new. And yes, back when I used to hang out in chatrooms/forums, I saw these people and wondered about what used to be called ‘modesty’. No one had to ask them anything, and if they asked you about your health or your car or your work or your children or your house, it was just an introductory blurb to let you know it was time to shut up, sit down, and get ready for the latest amazing revelations about them and theirs.

They are like that person at work or on the street who says “Hi! How are yoooouuuuu?”, but never gives you a chance to say anything and if you do say something, it is a waste of time because they are on to other topics, namely themselves. Whenever this happened to me, I usually listened as long as I felt was polite and then excused myself and left the immediate area. But like ‘modest’, ‘polite’ has become a relic in our vocabulary, and might soon be removed from Webster’s altogether for lack of interest.

There are a couple of other types I would like to add to that article’s ‘Success Bombers’. The ‘Omniscient Correctalls’ and the ‘Indignation Enforcers’. You can probably imagine what or rather who am talking about.

The Omniscient Correctalls are normally fairly smart, sometimes well-educated people who feel it is necessary to correct/edit your input come hell or high-water, no matter the outcome, feelings be damned. It will not matter if the inaccurate information is accidental, ignorantal, or faux pasal. These types will interrupt without warning and set about explaining 1. that you are wrong, 2. how you are wrong, 3. where you are wrong, 4. why you are wrong, and 5. just how wrong you are on a scale of one to ten. You are left sitting or standing in uncomfortable embarrassment and chagrinment until they have corrected you appropriately, whereupon you find you have completely lost your train of thought, questioned everything you ever thought you knew, and wish you had never gotten out of bed or been born. You know the type.

The Indignation Enforcers are sometimes known as Karens, but even this designation is under attack for being insensitive to all Karens everywhere. My question is this: are they indignant about the injustice of the use of the name Karen or are they indignant about the memes showing a Karen in action? But it’s not all about the Karen, it’s about the topic as well. If you say something out of habit or out of personal opinion or preference, these Indignation Enforcers will immediately cut you off, upbraid you for thinking or having a personal opinion, and make sure that everyone else in the immediate area does the same thing. The unexpected attack will leave you wondering why you suddenly have the urge to throw yourself under a bus or commit yourself to the nearest rehab facility, or possibly join the French Foreign Legion.

So Hey! Have a nice day. I gotta run. My daughter is receiving her Doctorate Degree tonight, my son has to practice his valedictorian speech, and my husband is waiting to give me money to buy our niece a pony for her birthday. Ta ta! See you later… maybe… or not.


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